Nicole vs. Life
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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