I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
