yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
