the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
