So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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