that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
