Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
