I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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