I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
