Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
