you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
