I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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