I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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