What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Found your dick twin last night
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
