just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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