Porn is love you can see.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Randomize
