my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize