do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
