you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
