We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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