its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize