well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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