you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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