Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoofâ€
Randomize
