I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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