***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
