yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
