I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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