please come you make the beer taste better
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
bring money and cleavage
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
