I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize