You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
