It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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