Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i was born a porn star she said
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
