the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
