YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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