Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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