i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
