i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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