Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
