k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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