so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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