I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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