then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
