I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
