Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
