Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
