doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He felt like a one man threesome
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
