omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
