But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize