at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
