I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
