the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
