He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
