I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
