Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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