found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
