I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize