Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
