we're blogging at a bar
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
