There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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