And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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