Someone shit on the floor
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
