i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
