My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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