Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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